The Professional Arsenal

How well stocked are you with your professional arsenal?

I’m thankful to have great friends and close colleagues in many different fields. There are accountants and CFOs, marketers, doctors, lawyers, technology experts, graphic designers, business leaders, psychologists, human resource experts, writers, editors, actors, directors, videographers and cinematographers, seamstresses and costume designers, set designers and set builders, singers, dancers, musicians, artists… the list goes on and on.

The importance of this is that when I join a new company or start one of my own, I come armed with my professional arsenal. When you get me, you get them (or access to them through me).

If you don’t have a strong professional arsenal, and you desire to grow professionally (and personally), developing one should be your first step.

Your professional value is a combination of your personal expertise and your resources.

Constantly Thinking

If It Don't Fit, Don't Force It

Don't try to force friendships. True friendships are mutual and don't require it.

If you find yourself always taking the lead in your friendships or relationships (always making the first call, always sending the first text, always scheduling the dates), back off. When people value something, they let it be known.

The other thing to consider is that your role in those relationships may not be one of mutual friendship and value. You may be there to counsel the person, or be a lifeline - an encourager - to them when they need it. That's a great thing, as long as you recognize it. If you're expecting that behavior to be reciprocated and it isn't, you may get your feelings hurt.

If you're one of the people who tends to use people as counselors, but call them friends, you may need to re-evaluate, as well. Ask yourself if you'd still be "friends" with the person if they stopped being your sounding board for several months.

Most people have very few "mutually valued, mutually beneficial friendships" where they can both listen and share, lovingly counsel and receive loving counsel.

Almost all relationships have value. It's just important to realize what type of relationship you're in.

Constantly Thinking...

What They Don't Tell You...

They don’t tell the abused woman that once she finally gathers her strength and leaves that abusive man, there will still be days she will miss him and consider going back.

They don’t tell the undervalued employee that when they quit that dead-end job and follow their dreams, there will be incredibly difficult days ahead, and sometimes they’ll long to be back in that broken office chair at that dysfunctional company.

They don’t tell you that when you finally release that friend or family member or man or woman or church leader who didn’t value you, that you’ll still miss them terribly because even if they didn’t recognize your value, you recognized theirs.

They don’t tell you that not settling for the man who doesn’t value you as a wife and won’t marry you, doesn’t make you stop loving him.

They don’t tell you that being strong can still hurt.

All they tell you is how much better it will be. But better doesn’t always happen immediately. Sometimes you'll just be lonely or horny or impatient. At times you'll be so lonely, horny or impatient that it will make you want to walk backwards. Don't do it.

The rewards will come. Once you start valuing yourself, you will attract the people who value you, as well. But it’s a journey, it will take time, and there will be pain along the way.

Like a runner training for a marathon, or a person working out to lose 50 pounds, or a woman in labor, it’s a process. At some point, you’ll look back and say the journey was worth it; but in the midst of it, you may have to encourage yourself.

Keep your eye on the goal. Don’t look backwards toward the crap (lest you turn into a pillar of salt – LOL). Know your value.

Yes, there’s a possibility that the person or employer in your past is also part of your future. There's a chance that some of those relationships or jobs will be restored, but it will be with new people (same human, different character). You will have changed and so will they. Think Steve Jobs and Apple. It can happen, but not without internal change – on both sides.

Keep moving forward.

Constantly Thinking…

Constance's Top 12 Rules for Successful Living

1. Recognize the power of your words. You can give life or destroy it with your words. Never give your word lightly or recklessly. Your character is judged by whether or not you are a person of your word.
2.  Your belief or faith in yourself (or lack thereof) will guide your words and actions. Believing in yourself and speaking words of faith and optimism will actually create opportunities and open doors for you. The opposite is also true.
3. Always live in and enjoy the present. Don’t wait to appreciate the value of a person or an event when it’s past. Don’t focus on how much better things will be in the future. Live in and for today!
4. Love deeply and without reserve. Love is life-giving! Life is richer and more enjoyable with love in it. Love makes successes greater and challenges easier to handle.
5. Apologize and forgive quickly, especially to those you care about. Life is short. No one has time to hold onto anger or grudges.
6. Never be afraid to admit mistakes or ask for help in all areas of your life – business, school, parenting, relationships.
7. When you’re in a relationship (especially a marriage), keep your business between the two of you. You’re the team. Don’t allow outside influences to jeopardize your marriage or relationship. No “bro code” or “sisterhood” should supersede the commitment you two have to each other.
8. Be willing to take a risk…in life, in business and in love. You only live once. Even if you fail, you’ll learn. If you do fail, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, apply your wisdom and knowledge from your experiences, and try again.
9. Learn how to manage your money early in life. Don’t spend more than you have. Learn how to save. Knowing how to manage money wisely will save you years of heartache and mistakes.
10. Learn your strengths and your weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses can both work to your benefit. Use them wisely.
11. Never underestimate your value…or anyone else’s. People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If you don’t value yourself, neither will anyone else.
12. Never ignore red flags. You can count on having regrets if you do. We have instincts, intuition, and the Holy Spirit for a reason.