As He created me, He gave me a choice.
"I can create you to care deeply, to love without reserve, to give your all in all of your relationships - in romance, with family and friends, even in the workplace. You'll experience the greatest joys, the highest highs, and a depth of emotion most people never experience. You'll change countless lives because of your passion. You'll motivate others to be passionate and give more of themselves in all they do.
"But...choosing to feel deeper emotions goes both ways. With great passion, comes deeper pain when you experience disappointments. Your heart will break from time to time and the depth of the pain you will feel will seem overwhelming. The intensity will be comparable to the blissful, heart-warming feeling of the joy you experience.
"Or...you can choose moderation. Your highs won't be too high. Your lows won't be too low. You will still experience joy, but perhaps not as passionately. You will still experience pain, but it won't be soul crushing. You may possibly still change lives, but not as many, because people are moved by passion.
"The choice is yours."
Without hesitation, I replied, "I choose passion. I choose to love without reserve. I want to be used to change lives. I believe that the joy and love can sustain me during the painful times."
He smiled. "Yes, joy and love can sustain you. Here's the thing, though. You won't recall making this choice. You'll live your life not realizing you chose this path. You'll be thrilled when you feel love and joy, but you'll think 'why me?' when you go through heartbreak. You'll hurt so much you'll want to give up."
How could that be, I wondered. "No! How could I forget?"
He said, "Even though you're born with your memories of this time, by the time you're old enough to understand them, you've forgotten them."
"Okay, but even if I forget, I'll have to realize what's going on. I mean, it will just make sense. Passion in one direction would automatically mean passion in the other direction. Right? Won't I be smart enough to figure that out? Wait. Will I be smart?"
He laughed, "Don't worry. You'll be very smart. But emotions and passion aren't based on logic and intelligence. They operate on a completely different plane."
This would be an even more difficult decision than I realized. "Do you give everyone this choice?" I wondered.
"Everyone has their own choice to make," He replied.
And then... He patiently waited, as though He had all the time in the world...which I suppose He does.
Ultimately, I made my choice.
Constantly Thinking (and Feeling)...
