Social Media Faux Pas

I know it seems like we can, should, and do only communicate with our friends, family and acquaintances via social media - FB, Twitter and Instagram.

But here's the thing about social media...
It's a great form of communication for acquaintances, whose numbers we don't have anyway.
It's a great way to stay updated with distant friends and relatives.
It's a great marketing tool for business and casual acquaintances.
It's "another" form of communication for those who are close to us.
It's a great general way to keep "the masses" informed about what's going on with you on a surface level. 

HOWEVER...
It doesn't replace real relationships.
It shouldn't be used for resolving (or exposing) relationship issues.
It shouldn't replace real conversation.
It's not for sharing personal messages (that should be sent or spoken directly to a friend or family member).

My friend, Justin, made the mistake of tweeting what should have been a personal message to Madonna for her birthday.

https://celebrity.yahoo.com/news/justin-timberlake-calls-madonna-ninja-her-birthday-sparks-134500779-us-weekly.html

He should have made a personal call or sent a private text. Some would say he shouldn't have said it at all - but that's between Justin and Madonna and their personal relationship. We all have that friend or loved one that we jokingly call out of their name, not necessarily profanely so, but still inappropriate in mixed company.

My nicknames, pet names, code names and trash talk names between me and my friends or my man will not be posted or tweeted for all the world to see. Some stuff is just between you and them. JT's backlash was swift and fierce, but he's a fast learner. He'll be all right. Hopefully, those who need to will learn from his mistake, though.

Constantly Thinking...and posting, tweeting, blogging, texting, writing, calling and talking face-to-face!

Don't Poke the Bear!

Before I became a Christian, I suffered no fools. If you were an idiot, rude, or you approached me inappropriately, I told you off – regardless of your age or position. I straightened you out, or kicked you out of my life if you wouldn’t get straight – with a quickness.

As it related to dating, men had to come correct or not at all. My dad, only somewhat jokingly, declared that I had a revolving door policy. Treat me right or else you’d disappear!

Second chances were rarely given.

Before I became a Christian, I had an unchecked, super sharp tongue that would shred friend and foe alike. I still have a super sharp tongue – I just know how to keep it in check. If it cuts now, it’s intentional.

After becoming a Christian, I learned all about mercy and temperance. Mercy is still not my strong suit, but I operate more frequently in it. The temperance piece was easier to adapt to my life.  I tamed my tongue and my temper and began operating in love.

The challenge is that in quieting my tongue and my temper, I also muted my intuition – the Holy Spirit within me. The red flags would raise and I would subdue and restrain them along with my fiery temper and my razor-sharp tongue. I began to let people into my life and my heart against my better judgment, against the red flags, against the Holy Spirit. I let them remain in my life because I’d learned all about love and mercy. I believed the best in everyone and ignored the screaming signs and warnings! I was merciful and temperate, but foolishly so.

The predators saw my softening and pounced! They saw me drop my guard – or recognized it was down when they met me – and they came like a flood, armed with Deception and the Weapon of Conviction.

The Weapon of Conviction                                                             

You see, there are those who specifically prey on strong Christians and other good people by mistreating, deceiving or taking advantage of them. Then they beat them over the head with the Weapon of Conviction. “Why are you accusing me of doing something wrong? Are you judging me? Doesn’t the Bible say not to judge? Okay, maybe I am or was doing a little something wrong. But what about mercy? Doesn’t the Bible say to forgive and have mercy?”

For years, those people played me like a harp. To my detriment, I learned all about Deception and the Weapon of Conviction. I say “to my detriment” because it’s been through experience. I also now realize that it’s been to my benefit, because I can now see them when they’re being wielded as a weapon.

Don’t get me wrong. Conviction itself is a good thing, when revealed and self-administered as directed by the Holy Spirit. And I have no regrets for learning about mercy. It’s useful with children and people who are struggling with doing the right thing. I have no regrets about learning how to tame my tongue and my temper. I use them only when needed now. I’m in control of them instead of the other way around.

I have found my balance. I can be as shrewd as a snake and as innocent as a dove at the same time. I may have learned them one at a time – shrewdness first, then innocence – but now they’ve combined to form a stronger, wiser woman.

After several relationships and friendships with imposters whose intention was or is to do harm to good people, predators who come armed with deception and the weapon of conviction in case they’re called on their crap, I say this:

The line has been drawn. I have thrown down the gauntlet. You’ve played me – and played with me – one time too many. If you come at me wrong, with deception, ugliness, cruelty, or with any other weapon, be prepared for war. I am now armed and dangerous, as well, and I will fight back. 

Don’t poke this bear.

Constantly Thinking…