Once upon a time, there was a girl named Annie who had lots
of friends.
All of her friends were wonderful. They were beautiful,
intelligent and sensitive. Almost all of them had a great sense of humor, just
like Annie.
Many of Annie’s friends had similar characteristics – they
laughed often, enjoyed life and had a generally positive outlook. Annie also had some friends who were diamonds in the rough.
Their greatness could only be seen by a few people, including Annie.
One of these friends, Marsha, had an interesting quirk.
Every time Marsha came over to visit Annie, she would go into the kitchen, get
the sharpest knife she could find, then stab Annie with it every few minutes or
so. They weren’t very big stabs, most of the time – just enough to draw a
little blood and leave a scab. But they stung quite a bit, sometimes for days
or weeks afterwards.
This went on for years. Annie and Marsha would spend time
together and Marsha would find a sharp knife and get a few stab jabs in.
Annie tried talking to Marsha about the stabbing. She
explained that she didn’t really like it, and that it hurt. Marsha would always
apologize and say she wouldn’t do it anymore. And sometimes she really would
stop for a while. But she just couldn’t stay away from the knives, and before
Annie knew it, she was being stabbed again.
No one could understand why Annie continued to be friends
with Marsha. But Annie knew. Annie could see Marsha’s wonderfulness hidden
underneath her strangely violent behavior. Marsha loved to tell stories about
her life, and Annie liked to listen to them. They found many things to laugh at
together. Of course, when Annie would start to share stories about her life, Marsha
would use this time to stab her repeatedly. Annie realized it was best to just
listen and not share. Even with that, most of the time, Annie enjoyed her time
with Marsha. She felt the happy times outweighed the pain of the stabs.
But one day Marsha stabbed Annie so deeply that she ended up
in the intensive care unit of the hospital. Recovery took several long weeks.
The Doctor informed Annie that if she continued to be stabbed like this, it
would cause major damage to her – both physical and psychological. He asked her
why she’d allowed it to go on for so long. Annie told him about her friendship
with Marsha. She shared how special and wonderful Marsha really was, aside from
her penchant for stabbing those she cared about. The Doctor understood but
explained that by allowing Marsha to stab her repeatedly she was reinforcing
that behavior and causing her to do it more frequently.
Annie had never really thought about it that way before. By allowing it,
she was unintentionally enabling and encouraging the stabbing from Marsha. Well, Annie had a lot of time to think about her friendship with Marsha while she was
recovering in the hospital. She realized that she felt a lot better when she
wasn’t being stabbed. She realized that if Marsha was really her friend, she
wouldn’t stab her repeatedly. She believed Marsha cared about her – but she
realized that Marsha wasn’t capable of being a loving friend without inflicting
pain.
Marsha didn’t understand why Annie wouldn’t allow her to spend
time with her anymore. Marsha felt really bad about stabbing Annie so deeply. She
hadn’t meant to hurt her THAT badly. She really wanted things to go back to the
way they used to be. She wanted to start visiting Annie again and maybe she
would try not to stab her, or maybe she could just make little stabs that
wouldn’t be that bad and wouldn’t hurt that much.
Once Annie got well, she forgave Marsha. She realized that
Marsha probably couldn’t really help the way she was. She didn’t stab people to
hurt them; she stabbed them to protect herself. Annie understood that, but decided it was time to protect herself, as well. She
still really loved Marsha and she really missed the positive aspects of their friendship, but Annie decided to love Marsha from afar. She chose to
listen to the Doctor and not allow Marsha to get close enough to stab her again.
Annie knew that trying to explain it to Marsha again wouldn’t
work. She’d explained it so many times before. Annie hoped that one Marsha
would just come to an understanding and change her stabbing behavior. Maybe then
they could be friends again.
The end.
