Some Things You Just Never Get Over

A few days ago, I quite unexpectedly had the scab ripped off of an old wound. Not a physical wound - although the reminder of the loss and betrayal did cause physical pain. An emotional wound, with an emotional scab, was unintentionally re-injured. Not only did (and do) I have to re-deal with the pain, I have to deal with the frustration that I am still even able to feel pain about this same situation...years later.

A surprisingly wise man (sorry, wise man, it was a good surprise, though...:-) told me that even when some wounds finally heal, they still leave a scar. He could speak from experience. He had a horrific car accident years ago and the reminder scar remains although, for all intents and purposes, he's healed.

That got me to thinking about those things and people and events that you never, ever get over.

Life-changing or unforgettable events - great and tragic:
- The event mentioned above - the car accident - not only physically scarred him, it emotionally scarred me...for life. It was singularly the most terrifying and traumatic situation I've ever lived through.
- Many women know that having a baby - especially the first one - is an unforgettable, and usually incredibly joyful, experience.
- First dates with great loves are unforgettable. My first date with my "first" love, my birthday date with one of the great loves of my life are two dates that I will never forget nor get over. They are the standard by which I measure all other dates.

The death of a loved one - especially a child, a spouse, a parent, or a soulmate:
- If I think too deeply about my aunt - my mentor, the first (and possibly only) person who truly "got" me - my eyes still fill with tears. She changed my life.
- My dad was one of the most loved and lovable, hilarious and brilliant men I have ever known. Most of the time I can tell his stories and quote his many quotables without sadness, just laugh and laugh. Sometimes, however, that laughter turns into tears as I realize just how much I miss him. I'm so thankful he chose my Mom so that I (and my sister) could have the benefit of being raised by such an amazing man.

The loss of true love:
- The breaking, tearing, rending of a covenant is heart-breaking. Regardless of the cause, no words can describe the sense of loss and failure you feel when the lifelong covenant you chose to enter into is dissolved.
- In addition to my ex-husband, I've had two great loves in my life. With "great love" comes an enormous amount of memories and experiences. Unexpectedly, a song, a movie, a smell, a phrase...will send you back in time to relive a special moment. Sometimes, as it was a few days ago, the reminder is not that sweet. Sometimes the reminder is a casual mention of the betrayal or the betrayer.

Regardless of the memory trigger, loss of great love and loss of loved ones leaves more than just a wound with a scab, it leaves a lifelong scar on your heart.

Fortunately, in addition to those devastating scars, our hearts are also covered with wonderful threads and patches of gold from the positive life-changing, unforgettable events we've experienced in our lives, as well as the life-affirming, life-enhancing true love from a mentor or genuine loved one.

Today, I will have to focus on that. I'll have to force myself to do it. I'll compel myself to think about my aunt, who loved me completely and unconditionally, and changed me and my life for the better.

She's one person I'm glad I will never get over.

Constantly Thinking...(and feeling...and healing...)