One of my favorite people in the world asked me how I define "poverty mindset." Great question. My definition is really "an unhealthy preoccupation with money based on fear." It manifests in several different ways.
To illustrate, I'll use something that most of us do not have an unhealthy preoccupation with - Toilet Paper. (Some do, however. Especially those who are or have been homeless. Toilet Paper is a luxury for them. In no way is this example meant to diminish the real need that some have. It's just an illustration.)
So, imagine having a preoccupation with toilet paper, based on fear:
There are some who horde every roll of toilet paper they can get. They use only one or two sheets at a time, for fear they may run low or run out. They may or may not be able to afford more, but their mindset is that they can't. (In the money world, these are misers, Scrooge-types.)
Then there are those who suddenly or finally have the means to buy up as much toilet paper as they want, and they buy it like crazy. They have it in every room. They brag about it to their friends, show it off whenever possible. They buy different kinds, textures and colors. They give toilet paper gifts to people whenever they can - just to show how they've made it. (In the money world - they call these people the "nuevo rich" or "new money." Trying to impress folks with all the things their "new money" can buy.)
Then there are those who no longer have to scrimp and save for toilet paper. They now have it, but in the back of their minds they're always thinking that something could happen that would take them back to not having it. So they monitor it closely, watching it like it may dissolve, disappear or get flushed away at any moment. They can give or share a roll or two, but they choose not to, just in case they don't have enough in the future when they may need it. (In the money world, they consider themselves being "practical" but it comes through as the father in "Everybody Hates Chris" - "that's 10 cents worth of paper towel!")
Then, there are those who every time they get some toilet paper, they use it up super fast because they don't know when they might get some more. They can barely keep any in the house. ("Money burning a hole in your pocket" mentality.)
Finally, there are those who chase after the almighty toilet paper. Someone tells them that this toilet paper deal or that toilet paper model will grant them more toilet paper than they can imagine. All you have to do is bring 3-4 rolls of your own toilet paper, give it to the person or company that promises to give you more, and then you'll get a supply of toilet paper beyond your wildest imagination. You could end up with 500 rolls of toilet paper! They jump at it! They run all over chasing after the promise of more toilet paper, which usually just gives them a few sheets at a time, but keeps promising them more. (In the money world - these folks are the ones who equate success with money. They chase after the bright and shiny business deals because of the promise of more money - not purpose or professional development. These people often describe things in terms of money. How much that person is worth, how much they made on their last deal, how much their shoes cost. They'll drop dollars into the conversation in random, inappropriate places.)
What's interesting is that the lack of money is not necessarily what creates the poverty mentality. It's the fear and the preoccupation with it that creates it. I know people who barely have two nickels to rub together, but when they get one, they look for someone to share it with. If they get three, they save one, spend one and share one. They have a healthy mentality, knowing there will be more.
I made an early statement not to depend on people with a poverty mentality because it's contagious. It is. Imagine being around someone who is preoccupied with...Peppermint or Mercedes or the Lakers (or toilet paper)...and constantly talks about it, thinks about it, points it out to everyone. First of all, if you're around that person enough, you'll start to notice what they notice. Second, imagine if you ask them if you can borrow their Mercedes, or have some of their peppermints, or use their season tickets to the Lakers. Imagine "depending" on them for those things. It would almost be painful.
Now imagine having a healthy attitude toward money. Compare it to your healthy attitude toward toilet paper (if you have a healthy attitude about that). You use it when you need it. It's there for your family and friends and guests when they need some. When you run low, you get more. If you run out, it's a hassle, but you don't panic. You get resourceful, then get more. You usually have enough in reserve that you don't have to worry about it being there when you need it. You don't have to show it off to your friends. You don't try to impress people with it by talking about how much you have. You don't constantly lament about how little you have. You don't have to count the number of sheets that are left on the roll.
But you'd be wise about how you used it. You wouldn't use so much that it clogged the toilet. If you and your family were running through it too fast, you'd realize someone had a problem. If someone came in your house and took all you had, you'd sever your relationship with them. I mean, who does that?! If you and your family weren't using any at all (or very little), you'd recognize that as a problem, as well. (Nasty!)
It is possible to develop a healthy relationship with money (and toilet paper). The first step is recognizing that you may have a problem. Second, remember, money is the "means to an end" - not the end itself. What is it that you really want? What are you really working towards? Remember that fear and desperation is as much of a magnet as faith and confidence. If you fear poverty or being without what you need - and you constantly obsess over it - you will draw it to you. Thoughts have incredible power. Focus your thoughts on positive things.
Start applying the confidence you have when you enter a well-stocked bathroom - you know you'll have what you need when you need it. You don't enter the bathroom in fear that there may not be enough toilet paper. And if you do find yourself "stranded" every now and then, you borrow a few sheets until you can replace the roll (or you get real creative and resourceful and use something else...).
Constantly Thinking...
