A couple months ago I was launched into a health challenge. It started off seemingly small, then grew into something larger and scarier. After undergoing multiple ultrasounds, mammograms, MRIs and more invasive procedures and incisions than I care to count, I was finally declared in the clear! Everything was benign, no malignancy.
I am incredibly grateful, of course, as are all my loved ones. Most of them said, "I knew you were going to be fine." I mostly did, too.
However, even when you "mostly" believe you're going to be fine, there's a little part of you that recognizes this may be "that moment." What if this is the beginning of the end?
That tiny percentage has great power. It makes you re-prioritize and put things in perspective. Here are a few things I learned during this health crisis.
1) KNOW WHO YOUR REAL FRIENDS ARE (& STOP WASTING TIME WITH SOUL-SUCKERS)
I didn't share my health challenge with everyone, just those I knew would have my best interest at heart. I shared with those who would pray with and for me. I shared with those I knew would encourage me on my darkest days. I didn't share with those who not-so-secretly wish me ill will; or those who are fond of quoting platitudes and scriptures with no depth behind them. I didn't share with those who would forget I was going through a challenge as soon as we got off the phone. Those last groups caused me to re-evaluate the people I call friends. I disengaged from toxic people, and distanced myself from some of those who were just sucking up time and energy.
2) TREASURE THE FRIENDS YOU HAVE - AND LET THEM HAVE THEIR MOMENT.
I absorbed the words and prayers of encouragement and healing from some of my sisters and brothers, without ever sharing with them what I was going through. I'm part of several support and professional groups who do great things - life groups, prayer groups, acting groups. I didn't share with all of them. Some of them are or were going through things far worse than what I was facing. I didn't need to add my situation to the pile. One of my dearest friends and mentors taught me that lesson.
When my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, years ago, I would call my friend almost every day and she would pray with me. Little did I know (because she never said) that her brother was dealing with cancer, as well. When he lost his battle, and I attended the funeral, she and I had an emotional moment together. I said, "You never said a word." She said, "I didn't have to. When I prayed for your Mom, I was praying for him as well. I didn't want to take anything away from what you needed." She is one of the most selfless people I know, and I love her dearly.
I learned from that. Sometimes your friends just need to have their moment. You don't have to add anything to it. Pray for them and you'll be praying for yourself, as well.
3) VISIT, TALK, FORGIVE, SAY "I'M SORRY" OR "I LOVE YOU"
I tend to be very demonstrative - both physically and verbally - with my love, affection, and appreciation, so I didn't really have people I was estranged from or people who don't know I love them. I don't hold grudges, and I forgive easily, so that wasn't an issue. I apologize all the time (some say too much) so that wasn't really an issue.
The "visit and talk" piece, though...This health scare did make me want to reach out to my friends and family I haven't talked to in a while. It made me have conversations with exes to let them know how much I appreciated what we had. Not looking to reconcile, just letting them know what I appreciate(d) about them, and what I appreciated about us. It made me schedule trips to see family and friends that I haven't seen in a while. It made me reach out to cousins I love and miss, friends I haven't seen or heard from in a while. We picked right up where we left off. I need to do that more often.
4) TAKE A VACATION
In addition to the important family/friend visits above, I realized I need to take a real vacation. I now actually have time off scheduled, and I plan to go some place I've always wanted to visit. So many of my friends are taking fabulous vacations, which I admire so much. I spend my days and nights working, which is important and fulfilling. But I haven't stopped to smell a rose in a very long time. I may be a superhero, but I need some down time periodically.
5) GET IT DONE
I have a couple things on my "Get it done" list (aka bucket list). I would be so disappointed with myself if I didn't complete these things before dying. The threat of dying shouldn't have to be my motivation to get them done. But since it was...consider it handled.
6) FALL IN LOVE - MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL!
Being in love is my absolute favorite thing on the planet to do! It feels great. No, not just great - absolutely amazing! It energizes me. It gives me (even more) purpose, and a reason to fulfill the purpose I already have.
I want my "happily ever after." My current lifestyle didn't allow enough time for love. How can I not have enough time for the thing that gives me the greatest joy?! This health scare triggered immediate changes in my schedule, availability and accessibility to my future husband.
I'm looking forward to and already planning more social outings, more flirting, more dates. I'm looking forward to falling, being, and remaining in love with my husband-to-be...'til death do we part.
Even a health scare can be useful and helpful. It motivated me to adjust my perspective and get my priorities straight!
Feel free to get your priorities straight without the accompanying and terrifying health scare.
Constantly Thinking...
