To See & Be Seen

Someone asked me recently how you can know whether or not he's the one for you.

My advice to her was don't consider marrying anyone who doesn't truly "see" you. She didn't know what I meant.

If you've never experienced it, you wouldn't know. You'd have no idea that you were missing it.

What does it mean to see someone? What does it feel like to truly be seen by someone (and see them back)?

When someone "sees" you, they truly know your character. You never have to explain or justify yourself. They see and judge your actions by your heart, not by the outcome. They give you the benefit of the doubt because they know exactly what you intended. They trust you. They see you as your potential - they can actually see you at your very best - even when you haven't arrived there.

Some people have the gift of discernment. They can see a lot of people - the good, the bad and the ugly. But they rarely get seen back.

Most people are so concerned about projecting an image or a facade that they don't really want to be seen. People who project a facade can't usually see others. They mistakenly assume that everyone is projecting a facade. They can't trust what they see because they can't be trusted with what they project.

Unfortunately, many people fall into this category. They present their representatives. They don't want others to know their flaws or shortcomings. They'd rather present themselves as perfect and hope that no one can really see them and their baggage.

Some people can't see themselves. They have no clue that they're carrying around a storage room full of luggage. Or they haven't decided who they're going to be. They're like shifting sand. No one can see them because they're ever changing. Their character is still undeveloped. They throw personality traits at the wall to see what sticks. I would say those people don't really want to be seen either. They haven't committed to themselves so they certainly can't commit to another.

To know you're being seen, you first have to know who you are.

Being seen is the most amazing feeling in the universe. To have someone truly know you, get you, understand you, trust you, support you, uplift you, like you, love you, because they see YOU is an incomparable feeling. Being seen is most similar to experiencing agape love - unconditional, without reserve, intense and never-ending love.

If you are already married and she or he doesn't see you, maybe you don't see them either. Try to see them first. Then try to get them to see you. It will make your marriage stronger. If you see them but they don't see you, pray that their eyes will open - especially if you know God has blessed you with this person. He wants us to have his best. His word speaks about the blind leading the blind. (They both fall into a pit!)

If you're not already married, wait for it. If you do, your relationship will be rare, lifelong, legendary, the gold standard, the God standard.

Are you brave enough, open enough to be seen? Are you trusting enough, observant enough, loving enough to see them?

Are you patient enough to wait for it?