Isn't it funny how the only teachers you remember are those who were really, really good or those who were really, really bad? Good doesn't just mean what they taught you. I learned (and retained) a lot of new information in college and can't remember a single professor's name.
Good refers to the impact they had on your life. They validated you in some way. Or boosted your self-esteem.
You know, most of the teachers we remember were probably only 20 years older than us (at most). They're most likely still alive. In this age of technology, we could probably find them and thank them for influencing our lives in a positive way.
I've done that before. Not with teachers (yet), but with other people. I reconnected with the man who was ultimately responsible for leading me to the Lord. He ended up coming to my wedding. I've reconnected with old friends who changed my life in some way - and let them know.
This year, I will try to make a point to find and/or acknowledge those people who have influenced my life for the better (especially teachers - who aren't rewarded in proportion to what they do). I will share with them my recollection of events and how their words or actions changed my life. (So, friends, you may be hearing from me!)
For those of you who feel inclined to contact the teachers or people who negatively impacted your lives, let me dissuade you by sharing something that happened to someone close to me. She ran into a childhood bully years later in a store. The woman was sick, possibly terminally ill - and looked it. She shared that the ugliness and bullying she'd participated in during her childhood had eaten her alive and was likely the cause of her illness. She asked for forgiveness, but couldn't really receive it, even when it was given.
Trust that those who made your childhood a living hell are reaping what they sowed. If they truly desire your forgiveness, they'll find you. If they've lived their lives without regret, contacting them will only hurt your feelings and make you feel or say something that reduces you to their level. It's not worth it.
But also know that many times - unless it was intentional bullying - people don't realize the negative impact they've had on others. Some of it is (or was) just our own insecurity. I once let a "friend" know how she'd treated me like a doormat during the years of our friendship - using my shyness and insecurity to boost her own self-esteem. She had absolutely no idea what I was talking about. That's because my perception was based on my own insecurity at the time.When I realized that, I was able to let it go.
Recently, a girl from high school contacted me through FB. I don't remember her at all. She shared with me that I would never speak to her in high school and it would hurt her feelings. I was still very shy in high school - kind of kept to myself. She said she'd just recently gotten over it - but she really hadn't (even though it was more than 20 years later). I apologized but I don't know how heart-felt it seemed to her. I didn't remember her or the events she described - just like my friend didn't. Her perception was probably based on her own insecurity.
So, with regard to the negative stuff - get over it. Either the perpetrator is reaping what they sowed, or they don't remember it anyway - because perhaps it wasn't intentional. If you still need help getting over it, consider counseling (seriously). A Christian counselor can help you process it so that you can move on with your life. Holding onto the negative memories and experiences will negatively impact your health and relationships. It's a rotten, bitter root that needs to be dug up so you can heal and live a healthy life - emotionally, spiritually and physically.
But for the good stuff - the positive, life-changing events, words, and influences - share them. Share them with the people who gave them to you. Find them, call them, write them and let them know. Saying thank you will not only feel good for you, it may change their life!
So, here's to you - my favorite teachers!
**Mrs. Shelton - who made me do my first verbal presentation when I was still super-shy. She also taught the class how to correctly pronounce "synonym" before she went on maternity leave, just in case we got a doofus substitute who couldn't pronounce it correctly. (We did!)
**Mrs. McClaskey - who always made me feel valued, even when I pronounced "tutti frutti" just like it's spelled. (I'd never tasted nor heard of "tooty fruity" ice cream before.)
**Mrs. Smith - who never settled for mediocrity from me - even if my mediocre effort was better than most of the other students in the class. She made me do "my" personal best. That's stayed with me all my life.
**Mr. Giacomazza - the first teacher who taught me history in a way that I could understand and appreciate. He showed me that anything can be taught, it's just a matter of presentation.
**Mrs. Boden - my first acting teacher - she put me on the stage and contributed to my love of entertainment.
I thank you all for changing my life for the better!
To all my readers, I'd be interested in hearing about those people (perhaps even a stranger) who influenced your life for the better. Who were your favorite teachers and why?
Constantly Thinking
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