The Eyes of Affection

I have too often heard "She (or he) doesn't look at me with the same love and respect she used to." When you find yourself thinking or saying this, you may want to ask yourself what you've done that has been less than respectable.

It is hard to maintain a relationship with someone when they stop looking at you with love, admiration and respect. 

This dynamic is true of all relationships - friendships, professional relationships, and especially romantic relationships. It is almost impossible to sustain a relationship when respect has been damaged or destroyed, unless you repair and rebuild it. 

The truth is that people stop respecting us when we stop acting in a respectable manner. Living our lives in a respectable manner, therefore, can be the key to sustaining healthy, loving relationships.

That may sound simplistic, but it's not. Living in a respectable manner takes a conscious decision and is not always easy.

The question then is what constitutes respectable behavior? Does it mean perfection? Prudishness? Not having flaws or shortcomings? Of course not. People can and will forgive mistakes and shortcomings when they're admitted or acknowledged.

What dents the respect is the unacknowledged, unrepentant and/or repeated selfish behavior that causes hurt or pain to others.

Respectable behavior does the opposite of that. The true mark of respectable character is not perfection, but someone who acknowledges, apologizes, repents, and then does not repeat the wrongdoing. Furthermore, when someone of respectable character makes a mistake or allows selfishness to get the best of them, it is usually short-lived. They can’t live there. Their character won’t allow them to stay in that place.

When a loved one (friend or colleague) can no longer see you through eyes of affection, it is often the beginning of the end. Disdain and disrespect are caused by repeated and/or unacknowledged selfishness.

You can rebuild or restore the trust and respect, however, if you humble yourself, acknowledge your mistakes and, most importantly, show you’re truly repentant by not doing it again.

Constantly Thinking…

“I have made so many mistakes in my life. I have hurt people I love because of my thoughtlessness. I have hurt innocent people because of my selfishness. To those I hurt I say this: I know I can’t repair all of the damage I’ve done. I can only vow to do better; to act in a more respectable manner. My words and my actions going forward will reflect my choice to be a better person. I hope you will give me a second chance; a chance to show you that I have changed. I have recognized the error of my ways. I am not who I was before.”