Toilet Paper & Money: A Poverty Mindset Illustration

One of my favorite people in the world asked me how I define "poverty mindset." Great question. My definition is really "an unhealthy preoccupation with money based on fear." It manifests in several different ways.

To illustrate, I'll use something that most of us do not have an unhealthy preoccupation with - Toilet Paper. (Some do, however. Especially those who are or have been homeless. Toilet Paper is a luxury for them. In no way is this example meant to diminish the real need that some have. It's just an illustration.)

So, imagine having a preoccupation with toilet paper, based on fear:

There are some who horde every roll of toilet paper they can get. They use only one or two sheets at a time, for fear they may run low or run out. They may or may not be able to afford more, but their mindset is that they can't. (In the money world, these are misers, Scrooge-types.)

Then there are those who suddenly or finally have the means to buy up as much toilet paper as they want, and they buy it like crazy. They have it in every room. They brag about it to their friends, show it off whenever possible. They buy different kinds, textures and colors. They give toilet paper gifts to people whenever they can - just to show how they've made it. (In the money world - they call these people the "nuevo rich" or "new money." Trying to impress folks with all the things their "new money" can buy.)

Then there are those who no longer have to scrimp and save for toilet paper. They now have it, but in the back of their minds they're always thinking that something could happen that would take them back to not having it. So they monitor it closely, watching it like it may dissolve, disappear or get flushed away at any moment. They can give or share a roll or two, but they choose not to, just in case they don't have enough in the future when they may need it. (In the money world, they consider themselves being "practical" but it comes through as the father in "Everybody Hates Chris" - "that's 10 cents worth of paper towel!")

Then, there are those who every time they get some toilet paper, they use it up super fast because they don't know when they might get some more. They can barely keep any in the house. ("Money burning a hole in your pocket" mentality.)

Finally, there are those who chase after the almighty toilet paper. Someone tells them that this toilet paper deal or that toilet paper model will grant them more toilet paper than they can imagine. All you have to do is bring 3-4 rolls of your own toilet paper, give it to the person or company that promises to give you more, and then you'll get a supply of toilet paper beyond your wildest imagination. You could end up with 500 rolls of toilet paper! They jump at it! They run all over chasing after the promise of more toilet paper, which usually just gives them a few sheets at a time, but keeps promising them more. (In the money world - these folks are the ones who equate success with money. They chase after the bright and shiny business deals because of the promise of more money - not purpose or professional development. These people often describe things in terms of money. How much that person is worth, how much they made on their last deal, how much their shoes cost. They'll drop dollars into the conversation in random, inappropriate places.)

What's interesting is that the lack of money is not necessarily what creates the poverty mentality. It's the fear and the preoccupation with it that creates it. I know people who barely have two nickels to rub together, but when they get one, they look for someone to share it with. If they get three, they save one, spend one and share one. They have a healthy mentality, knowing there will be more.

I made an early statement not to depend on people with a poverty mentality because it's contagious. It is. Imagine being around someone who is preoccupied with...Peppermint or Mercedes or the Lakers (or toilet paper)...and constantly talks about it, thinks about it, points it out to everyone. First of all, if you're around that person enough, you'll start to notice what they notice. Second, imagine if you ask them if you can borrow their Mercedes, or have some of their peppermints, or use their season tickets to the Lakers. Imagine "depending" on them for those things. It would almost be painful.

Now imagine having a healthy attitude toward money. Compare it to your healthy attitude toward toilet paper (if you have a healthy attitude about that). You use it when you need it. It's there for your family and friends and guests when they need some. When you run low, you get more. If you run out, it's a hassle, but you don't panic. You get resourceful, then get more. You usually have enough in reserve that you don't have to worry about it being there when you need it. You don't have to show it off to your friends. You don't try to impress people with it by talking about how much you have. You don't constantly lament about how little you have. You don't have to count the number of sheets that are left on the roll.

But you'd be wise about how you used it. You wouldn't use so much that it clogged the toilet. If you and your family were running through it too fast, you'd realize someone had a problem. If someone came in your house and took all you had, you'd sever your relationship with them. I mean, who does that?! If you and your family weren't using any at all (or very little), you'd recognize that as a problem, as well. (Nasty!)

It is possible to develop a healthy relationship with money (and toilet paper). The first step is recognizing that you may have a problem. Second, remember, money is the "means to an end" - not the end itself. What is it that you really want? What are you really working towards? Remember that fear and desperation is as much of a magnet as faith and confidence. If you fear poverty or being without what you need - and you constantly obsess over it - you will draw it to you. Thoughts have incredible power. Focus your thoughts on positive things.

Start applying the confidence you have when you enter a well-stocked bathroom - you know you'll have what you need when you need it. You don't enter the bathroom in fear that there may not be enough toilet paper. And if you do find yourself "stranded" every now and then, you borrow a few sheets until you can replace the roll (or you get real creative and resourceful and use something else...).

Constantly Thinking...

You Got It Wrong!

You were shot to death in a theater?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You got shot on a balcony?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were imprisoned for 27 years?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were killed while riding in your car?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were nailed to a cross and crucified?! You must have been doing something wrong!

What makes people – and, specifically, my fellow believers – think that every time someone goes through a dry spell or experiences a desert place that it’s because they’ve done something wrong?

Believers will tell you that they either didn’t have enough faith, or they didn’t hear from God, or perhaps they sinned, or maybe one of their parents’ sinned and this is part of a generational curse. Or maybe they thought they heard from God, but really it was just the enemy and they were misled.

If we just listen to these faith-full people, we’ll know exactly what we did wrong – because clearly we did something wrong, and they know what it is!

I think about all the faith-full people that Noah and Job and Joseph encountered.

All of Noah’s friends, family and associates must have thought he was a lunatic building an ark when it had never rained. How many faith-full people must have told him he missed it? He may have thought he heard from God, but he clearly misheard Him.

In Job’s case, faith-full friends and family told him to curse God and die. Clearly, he had done something wrong or he was just cursed by the Lord. Modern day believers say that it was fear that brought it on him. I’ve heard whole sermons preached about that one sentence: “What I feared most has come upon me.”

Granted, I am the first one to admit that both faith and fear are attractors. We give our energy to thoughts, and thoughts have power. Those thoughts become words, and words have even greater power. So I understand the thinking behind believing Job’s fear brought the afflictions upon him. But if that was the case, then why tell us the whole behind-the-scenes story between God and the devil? That’s included in the Bible, as well. If it was just Job’s fear that triggered it, why include that back story?

Then there’s Joseph. He had prophetic dreams of leadership and influence, dreams that so infuriated his faith-full brothers that they threw him into a well and then sold him. He must have been doing something wrong! Of course, believers will say it was because he wasn’t humble enough.

Joseph did extremely well in Potiphar’s house until Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him, at which point he was thrown in jail. Once again, he must have done something wrong! Depending on who you talk to, he did, otherwise the faith-full Potiphar wouldn’t have had him jailed.

Joseph interpreted dreams in jail and was assured that he’d be remembered, but he was forgotten. He must have done something wrong!

Finally, years later, Joseph was brought from prison to interpret the king’s dream, and elevated to the position of leadership and influence from his original prophetic dreams. He watched with déjà vu as his brothers bowed down to him. He saved his family and was reunited with his father and brothers. Things were as they should have been.

But what about that journey? What about that desert place? Joseph must have done something wrong to have gone through all that, right??

And then…there’s Jesus. He was beaten, crucified, nailed to a cross by his own faith-full people! He MUST have done something wrong, right???

When faith-full Peter tried to tell Jesus that he was NOT going to die, that He didn’t have to walk that walk, He didn’t have to go to that desert place because He was the Messiah, Jesus said, “Get thee behind me, Satan!” Jesus knew that Peter was only focusing on the things of man, while He was focusing on the things of God.

So why is it that whenever we go through a tough period in our lives, perhaps a time of pruning, or a time of forcing us to strengthen our wings so that we can soar, people say – wait, no, let’s be specific, not just people, faith-full believers – immediately assume and even declare that it’s because of your sin, your mama’s sin, your disobedience, your impatience, your mishearing God, your listening to the devil, that you’re in the situation you’re in?

Every desert place is not of the devil. Every trial is not due to sin. Every delay is not due to mishearing God.

Sometimes, tough times – even extremely tough times – are a time of testing and strengthening for your character, in preparation for what’s to come.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe in the law of reaping and sowing. Some bad circumstances are absolutely repercussions and consequences. If you sow crap, you get crap back. I fully believe in taking responsibility for your actions. I fully believe that sometimes people mis-hear. I also believe, however, that sometimes it’s none of those things.

The Word of God says that the sun shines and the rain falls on the just and the unjust. The Word of God says that the enemy is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking to jack up some folks (a bit of paraphrasing). The enemy is not just looking for some, he’s looking for whoever he can devour! That means that you can be minding your own business, walking on your God-ordained path, fulfilling your Godly purpose, and BOOM you can get rained on. And while you’re looking up at the sky trying to figure out why you’re getting rained on, the enemy can attack you from behind.

Immediately, 10 or 12 people will rush to your side and tell you it’s because you were sinning or afraid. Your fear and disobedience brought it on you!

Listen, faith-full people, before you speak into somebody’s life, make sure YOU’VE heard from God. Make sure you’re not just  giving them your own interpretation of scripture. “Well, the Word says…” is not a good enough reason to play Peter and overrule the Word of God that has been spoken to someone directly.

When the faith-full men came to stone the adulterous woman, they had the Word – the written rules – behind them, but Jesus chose to handle it a different way, as God Himself directed Him.

If God hasn’t spoken directly to you – I mean, His voice to your ear – to tell somebody what you think they’re doing wrong, be careful that you don’t become that wolf in sheep’s clothing that leads someone astray.

Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Jesus all experienced either a desert place or a tragic ending to their purpose-filled life (or both). Does that mean they all got it wrong? Based on being faith-full, would you have told them or their widows that they had sinned, been disobedient, misheard from God, or brought their situations on themselves due to fear?

Really? Perhaps you should think, pray, and seek God, before you speak. Every man is not anointed to be a prophet. But everyone can pray. Your prayers can reveal more truth, and move more mountains, than your misguided faith-full words can.

If you really think someone is doing something wrong based on your interpretation of the Word, just pray. At least start with prayer.

God can take it from there. If there's more for you to do, He'll let you know.