You Got It Wrong!

You were shot to death in a theater?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You got shot on a balcony?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were imprisoned for 27 years?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were killed while riding in your car?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were nailed to a cross and crucified?! You must have been doing something wrong!

What makes people – and, specifically, my fellow believers – think that every time someone goes through a dry spell or experiences a desert place that it’s because they’ve done something wrong?

Believers will tell you that they either didn’t have enough faith, or they didn’t hear from God, or perhaps they sinned, or maybe one of their parents’ sinned and this is part of a generational curse. Or maybe they thought they heard from God, but really it was just the enemy and they were misled.

If we just listen to these faith-full people, we’ll know exactly what we did wrong – because clearly we did something wrong, and they know what it is!

I think about all the faith-full people that Noah and Job and Joseph encountered.

All of Noah’s friends, family and associates must have thought he was a lunatic building an ark when it had never rained. How many faith-full people must have told him he missed it? He may have thought he heard from God, but he clearly misheard Him.

In Job’s case, faith-full friends and family told him to curse God and die. Clearly, he had done something wrong or he was just cursed by the Lord. Modern day believers say that it was fear that brought it on him. I’ve heard whole sermons preached about that one sentence: “What I feared most has come upon me.”

Granted, I am the first one to admit that both faith and fear are attractors. We give our energy to thoughts, and thoughts have power. Those thoughts become words, and words have even greater power. So I understand the thinking behind believing Job’s fear brought the afflictions upon him. But if that was the case, then why tell us the whole behind-the-scenes story between God and the devil? That’s included in the Bible, as well. If it was just Job’s fear that triggered it, why include that back story?

Then there’s Joseph. He had prophetic dreams of leadership and influence, dreams that so infuriated his faith-full brothers that they threw him into a well and then sold him. He must have been doing something wrong! Of course, believers will say it was because he wasn’t humble enough.

Joseph did extremely well in Potiphar’s house until Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him, at which point he was thrown in jail. Once again, he must have done something wrong! Depending on who you talk to, he did, otherwise the faith-full Potiphar wouldn’t have had him jailed.

Joseph interpreted dreams in jail and was assured that he’d be remembered, but he was forgotten. He must have done something wrong!

Finally, years later, Joseph was brought from prison to interpret the king’s dream, and elevated to the position of leadership and influence from his original prophetic dreams. He watched with déjà vu as his brothers bowed down to him. He saved his family and was reunited with his father and brothers. Things were as they should have been.

But what about that journey? What about that desert place? Joseph must have done something wrong to have gone through all that, right??

And then…there’s Jesus. He was beaten, crucified, nailed to a cross by his own faith-full people! He MUST have done something wrong, right???

When faith-full Peter tried to tell Jesus that he was NOT going to die, that He didn’t have to walk that walk, He didn’t have to go to that desert place because He was the Messiah, Jesus said, “Get thee behind me, Satan!” Jesus knew that Peter was only focusing on the things of man, while He was focusing on the things of God.

So why is it that whenever we go through a tough period in our lives, perhaps a time of pruning, or a time of forcing us to strengthen our wings so that we can soar, people say – wait, no, let’s be specific, not just people, faith-full believers – immediately assume and even declare that it’s because of your sin, your mama’s sin, your disobedience, your impatience, your mishearing God, your listening to the devil, that you’re in the situation you’re in?

Every desert place is not of the devil. Every trial is not due to sin. Every delay is not due to mishearing God.

Sometimes, tough times – even extremely tough times – are a time of testing and strengthening for your character, in preparation for what’s to come.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe in the law of reaping and sowing. Some bad circumstances are absolutely repercussions and consequences. If you sow crap, you get crap back. I fully believe in taking responsibility for your actions. I fully believe that sometimes people mis-hear. I also believe, however, that sometimes it’s none of those things.

The Word of God says that the sun shines and the rain falls on the just and the unjust. The Word of God says that the enemy is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking to jack up some folks (a bit of paraphrasing). The enemy is not just looking for some, he’s looking for whoever he can devour! That means that you can be minding your own business, walking on your God-ordained path, fulfilling your Godly purpose, and BOOM you can get rained on. And while you’re looking up at the sky trying to figure out why you’re getting rained on, the enemy can attack you from behind.

Immediately, 10 or 12 people will rush to your side and tell you it’s because you were sinning or afraid. Your fear and disobedience brought it on you!

Listen, faith-full people, before you speak into somebody’s life, make sure YOU’VE heard from God. Make sure you’re not just  giving them your own interpretation of scripture. “Well, the Word says…” is not a good enough reason to play Peter and overrule the Word of God that has been spoken to someone directly.

When the faith-full men came to stone the adulterous woman, they had the Word – the written rules – behind them, but Jesus chose to handle it a different way, as God Himself directed Him.

If God hasn’t spoken directly to you – I mean, His voice to your ear – to tell somebody what you think they’re doing wrong, be careful that you don’t become that wolf in sheep’s clothing that leads someone astray.

Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Jesus all experienced either a desert place or a tragic ending to their purpose-filled life (or both). Does that mean they all got it wrong? Based on being faith-full, would you have told them or their widows that they had sinned, been disobedient, misheard from God, or brought their situations on themselves due to fear?

Really? Perhaps you should think, pray, and seek God, before you speak. Every man is not anointed to be a prophet. But everyone can pray. Your prayers can reveal more truth, and move more mountains, than your misguided faith-full words can.

If you really think someone is doing something wrong based on your interpretation of the Word, just pray. At least start with prayer.

God can take it from there. If there's more for you to do, He'll let you know.

Have You Lost Your Mind?! (The Perils of Facebook)

Picture this…

1) You’ve been invited by a dear friend to a small, exclusive dinner party. You attend and have a wonderful time. The next day, you see your friend at a huge “family and friends” reunion celebration. You ask the deejay for the microphone and announce publicly and loudly, “Thank you, my dear friend, for inviting me to your private dinner party last night! I had a great time! Too bad all of you weren’t invited, as well!” You smile at the end of your announcement and hand the mic back to the deejay.

2) While at a mall, you see a married man that you know slightly from church. You almost never speak to him, and see him even less frequently. You walk up to him and, with a wink, poke him in his side. He turns around and looks at you, shocked. So you poke him again and whisper, “It’s okay. Your wife can’t see me doing this.” From that moment on, every time you see him at the mall or the grocery store, you walk up to him, wink, and poke him (but only when his wife can’t see you).

3) You arrive at school and a girl you barely know walks up to you and tells you, “I had oatmeal and green juice for breakfast.” She flips her phone around and shows you a picture of it. It’s fairly disgusting. Then she stands there and waits for you to respond. When you don’t, she starts to get angry. “Don’t you LIKE oatmeal and green juice??”

You say, “Uh, not really.”

She replies, “Well, don’t you like ME?”

You say, “Uh, yeah, sure.”

She stomps her feet, “Then why don’t you say it?! Say you like me! Say it! Say LIKE when I tell you what I ate for breakfast!”

You stare at her, shocked.

“Fine! Then I don’t want to be your friend anymore!” she stomps away.

4) You’re at the airport when you hear an announcement, “My name is John Smith and I like women with big butts! Please look at the monitor if you want to see which kinds of big butted-women I like.”

5) While at the gym, you call and text all of your friends, family members, co-workers, associates, fellow churchgoers, and their friends and tell them, “I’m at the gym…getting it in.” Some don’t respond; some say, “Great! I LIKE that.” When you leave the gym and head to the grocery store, you call and text them all again and let them know where you are and what groceries you’re buying. Later, when you get home and cook dinner, you send them all a picture of what you ate (and forward a picture of your dinner to your local newspaper). One of your cousin’s friends responds to your picture of your dinner and asks if they can come over and eat some with you. You’re appalled at the audacity of their request. They don’t know you that well!

6) You see one of your friends at Target in an old t-shirt and scummy jeans, with hair a mess and no make-up on. She says she just ran in to get cold and flu medicine for her sick child. When she’s not looking you pull out your camera and take a picture of her, then email it to the Los Angeles Times for all to see. You send her a copy for her records, of course.

7) A husband and wife are at Disneyland, standing in line for Space Mountain. She turns to several people in line behind her and says, “I think my husband is insensitive when he doesn’t bring me flowers once a week.” In retaliation, the husband says, “If she stopped turning me down in bed every few days, I might bring her more flowers.” Then they both ask the line-standers, “What do you think?”

They all start responding, “I think you should have sex with him more often.” “I think he’s a jerk for not bringing you flowers.” “I’ll take him off your hands if you don’t want him.” “Only stupid women want flowers.” “Men are dogs who only want one thing. Dump him.”

****

People do all of these things (and more!) on Facebook and other social media as if it’s okay. It’s not okay!

Here are the general rules for social media (which should be common sense because they apply when we’re dealing with people face to face):

1) Don’t publicly thank people for an invitation-only event you attended. And don’t announce you’re going in advance if it’s not a public event. It’s insensitive not only to those who weren’t invited but to your host, who now has to field comments, questions and hurt feelings from the uninvited. Don’t post pictures from those events either. That’s the exact same thing! Hosts: because people have poor social media etiquette skills, you must now announce that no FB or Instagram posting will be allowed from your exclusive event.

2) Poking people is creepy and weird if you’re not close personal friends or in a relationship.

3) You can announce or post pictures of what you ate for breakfast or dinner if you want to, but don’t be offended when everyone doesn’t publicly like them. Don’t be offended when creepy stalker friends ask for a dinner invitation either – since you’re broadcasting your culinary skills.

4) Be aware that when you like porn photos, profanity-laden comics, or racially/politically offensive posts, everyone on Facebook is notified in their newsfeed. If you’re trying to convince people that you’re a good guy, a nice girl or a wholesome kid, while clicking “Like” on every ratchet twerking, half-naked, big butted picture you see, you’re failing…epically. We know who you are.

5) You are welcome to let everyone know where you’re going, where you are, and where you’ve been – but, just so you know, it can be dangerous – and most people don’t really care. It also creates FB stalkers and creepy encounters… “I saw you went to the store last night. I tried to get there while you were there, but I guess I missed you…” (Creepy)

6) Don’t take, post or tag people in photos without their permission. Period. That’s obnoxious.

7) Don’t air your dirty relationship laundry on Facebook or other social media sites. Respect your mate and deal with them directly. When you see someone’s dirty laundry being posted, don’t comment on it. You’re adding to the problem. If they really want or need advice, let them call you or send you a personal message. People who broadcast relationship issues are emotionally immature and shouldn’t be in a relationship in the first place. People who comment on them are instigators who need to stay out of folks’ business.

Listen, folks, if you know better than to do or say these things in public, what makes you think it’s okay to write or share them on Facebook – or any other social media site? Get it together and monitor your online behavior.

Constantly Thinking…and shaking my head!