A Black & White Dialogue

WHITE PEOPLE: We feel judged by all the comments and conversations surrounding the current racial unrest.

BLACK PEOPLE: We feel judged by comments and conversations all the time, not just during this current racial unrest.

WHITE PEOPLE: It feels like judgment against us when you say racism still exists.

BLACK PEOPLE: It feels like judgment against us when you deny that racism still exists.

WHITE PEOPLE: All white people are not racists.

BLACK PEOPLE: All black people are not criminals or thugs.

WHITE PEOPLE: It seems like every time we turn on the news, your people are committing a crime.

BLACK PEOPLE: It seems like every time we turn on the news, your people are committing a crime…against us.

WHITE PEOPLE: It is not fair to judge our whole race based on the actions of a few.

BLACK PEOPLE: It is not fair to judge our whole race based on the actions of a few.

WHITE PEOPLE: Most of us are good people. There are just some bad apples.

BLACK PEOPLE: Most of us are good people. There are just some bad apples.

WHITE PEOPLE: We are offended by your judgment.

BLACK PEOPLE: We are offended, discriminated against, brutalized, imprisoned, and killed by your judgment.

WHITE PEOPLE: When you DO judge our whole race based on the behavior of a few, we will object, even if it offends you.

BLACK PEOPLE: When you DO judge our whole race based on the behavior of a few, we will object, even if it offends you, and even though we may die because of it.

You may be offended because you are feeling the judgment Black people have felt their whole lives. You are suddenly having to give justification and take accountability for the wrongdoings of a few bad seeds in your race. 

You may be thinking, it doesn’t feel fair to be judged by the color of your skin.

That's because it isn’t fair.

That’s the point.

Constantly Thinking...

Glass House Syndrome - Stop Throwing Stones!

Good deeds get done. Laws get changed. Inventions are created and discoveries are made. Since there are no perfect people who are the ones doing this good stuff?

Are the good deeds of a great person negated by the sins in their personal life? King David was an adulterer and a murderer, but did that negate the good he did for his kingdom? We’ve had great politicians who did amazing things for our country, but they were also adulterers, liars, cheaters, sometimes thieves and murderers. Do we dismiss their good deeds?

There is a reason that the story of the adulterous woman is included in the Bible. It reminds us that none of us are perfect. So, before we judge someone else - even when they are absolutely wrong - we need to check ourselves.

For those unfamiliar...back in Biblical days, if a woman was caught in an adulterous relationship, she was stoned by the townspeople. There was no penalty for the man.

A group of teachers of the law brought an adulterous woman to Jesus and asked if he thought they should uphold the law of Moses and stone her. (They were testing Jesus to see if he would go against the law of the time.)

After a while, Jesus replied, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." One by one they all dropped their stones and walked away. Jesus didn't go against the law. He just turned the mirror back on the accusers.

"Before you kill her, or persecute her, for not being perfect, consider your own imperfections. Are you willing to be stoned or persecuted for your wrongdoings, as well?"

We should all ask ourselves that same question.

Before you trash people - politicians, celebrities, public figures, your relatives, your spouse, your classmates, your co-workers, your boss - consider your own imperfections. Would it be okay to have your wrongdoings exposed publicly in the news and on social media, or discussed and ridiculed privately among friends and family? Is it okay for you to lose your job because of mistakes or bad choices you made years ago?

What is the deciding factor about what’s right or wrong? Is it really about whether people know or not? Does public exposure condone public persecution?  That’s a really stupid scale of judgment. “If we find out about it you’ll get punished.” Is that why we feel it’s okay to judge? “At least people don’t know about what I’ve done or what I’m doing.” Wrong is wrong whether it’s public or not.

We don’t have to (and shouldn’t) condone or reward wrongdoing. People will reap what they sow. Karma is real.  Should people be punished for their bad deeds? Of course they should. But where do we draw the line?

• A brilliant writer is also a petty thief. Does that negate the brilliance of his books? Should he lose his publishing deal if convicted?
• A world-famous chef also cheats on his wife or turns out to be racist. Does it change the taste of his food? Should his sales dip? Should he lose his TV show, his restaurant, his distribution deal?
• A world-changing civil rights leader is a known womanizer. Should we rescind the rights of the minorities he helped free? Should unfair voting rights return?
• A talented sports hero has serious anger management issues. Should he be fired from his team? Should he lose his endorsement deals?
• An incredibly effective politician plagiarizes a paper in college, cheats on his wife, lies on his taxes, and accepts payoffs from business people who advance his agenda. Should he lose his position?

What about those who aren't in the public eye? Let's bring it down the to level of the majority.

• If every man who has ever abused a woman – physically, verbally, or sexually – lost his job, how many men would be out of work?
• If every person who ever cheated on a test or plagiarized in college got fired, how many people would be unemployed?
• If every man or woman who was (or is) unfaithful to their spouse or intimate with someone else’s spouse, was killed, how many people would be dead?
• If the good deeds, inventions, and legislation of every politician or businessman who ever lied or didn’t keep their word were erased and they were labeled a known liar, who would still attempt good deeds?
• If everyone who failed on a project was publicly shamed and fired, who would even try to succeed?

Here's what we can do: 

1. Keep doing the right thing. 
2. Keep trying. 
3. Even when you mess up, keep trying. 
4. Apologize and admit your wrongdoings quickly. 
5. Forgive others. 
6. Don’t judge.

One final note...

It seems like people are far more punitive and judgmental when they “discover” your wrongdoing. Knock the legs out from under them, steal their thunder, admit your sins, and make amends before others find out about them on their own.

Transparency is freedom. If everyone started admitting and correcting their mistakes before they could be used against them, this era of tabloid-esque, scandalized media and social networking skewering would end!

Constantly Thinking…

You Got It Wrong!

You were shot to death in a theater?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You got shot on a balcony?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were imprisoned for 27 years?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were killed while riding in your car?! You must have been doing something wrong!

You were nailed to a cross and crucified?! You must have been doing something wrong!

What makes people – and, specifically, my fellow believers – think that every time someone goes through a dry spell or experiences a desert place that it’s because they’ve done something wrong?

Believers will tell you that they either didn’t have enough faith, or they didn’t hear from God, or perhaps they sinned, or maybe one of their parents’ sinned and this is part of a generational curse. Or maybe they thought they heard from God, but really it was just the enemy and they were misled.

If we just listen to these faith-full people, we’ll know exactly what we did wrong – because clearly we did something wrong, and they know what it is!

I think about all the faith-full people that Noah and Job and Joseph encountered.

All of Noah’s friends, family and associates must have thought he was a lunatic building an ark when it had never rained. How many faith-full people must have told him he missed it? He may have thought he heard from God, but he clearly misheard Him.

In Job’s case, faith-full friends and family told him to curse God and die. Clearly, he had done something wrong or he was just cursed by the Lord. Modern day believers say that it was fear that brought it on him. I’ve heard whole sermons preached about that one sentence: “What I feared most has come upon me.”

Granted, I am the first one to admit that both faith and fear are attractors. We give our energy to thoughts, and thoughts have power. Those thoughts become words, and words have even greater power. So I understand the thinking behind believing Job’s fear brought the afflictions upon him. But if that was the case, then why tell us the whole behind-the-scenes story between God and the devil? That’s included in the Bible, as well. If it was just Job’s fear that triggered it, why include that back story?

Then there’s Joseph. He had prophetic dreams of leadership and influence, dreams that so infuriated his faith-full brothers that they threw him into a well and then sold him. He must have been doing something wrong! Of course, believers will say it was because he wasn’t humble enough.

Joseph did extremely well in Potiphar’s house until Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce him, at which point he was thrown in jail. Once again, he must have done something wrong! Depending on who you talk to, he did, otherwise the faith-full Potiphar wouldn’t have had him jailed.

Joseph interpreted dreams in jail and was assured that he’d be remembered, but he was forgotten. He must have done something wrong!

Finally, years later, Joseph was brought from prison to interpret the king’s dream, and elevated to the position of leadership and influence from his original prophetic dreams. He watched with déjà vu as his brothers bowed down to him. He saved his family and was reunited with his father and brothers. Things were as they should have been.

But what about that journey? What about that desert place? Joseph must have done something wrong to have gone through all that, right??

And then…there’s Jesus. He was beaten, crucified, nailed to a cross by his own faith-full people! He MUST have done something wrong, right???

When faith-full Peter tried to tell Jesus that he was NOT going to die, that He didn’t have to walk that walk, He didn’t have to go to that desert place because He was the Messiah, Jesus said, “Get thee behind me, Satan!” Jesus knew that Peter was only focusing on the things of man, while He was focusing on the things of God.

So why is it that whenever we go through a tough period in our lives, perhaps a time of pruning, or a time of forcing us to strengthen our wings so that we can soar, people say – wait, no, let’s be specific, not just people, faith-full believers – immediately assume and even declare that it’s because of your sin, your mama’s sin, your disobedience, your impatience, your mishearing God, your listening to the devil, that you’re in the situation you’re in?

Every desert place is not of the devil. Every trial is not due to sin. Every delay is not due to mishearing God.

Sometimes, tough times – even extremely tough times – are a time of testing and strengthening for your character, in preparation for what’s to come.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully believe in the law of reaping and sowing. Some bad circumstances are absolutely repercussions and consequences. If you sow crap, you get crap back. I fully believe in taking responsibility for your actions. I fully believe that sometimes people mis-hear. I also believe, however, that sometimes it’s none of those things.

The Word of God says that the sun shines and the rain falls on the just and the unjust. The Word of God says that the enemy is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking to jack up some folks (a bit of paraphrasing). The enemy is not just looking for some, he’s looking for whoever he can devour! That means that you can be minding your own business, walking on your God-ordained path, fulfilling your Godly purpose, and BOOM you can get rained on. And while you’re looking up at the sky trying to figure out why you’re getting rained on, the enemy can attack you from behind.

Immediately, 10 or 12 people will rush to your side and tell you it’s because you were sinning or afraid. Your fear and disobedience brought it on you!

Listen, faith-full people, before you speak into somebody’s life, make sure YOU’VE heard from God. Make sure you’re not just  giving them your own interpretation of scripture. “Well, the Word says…” is not a good enough reason to play Peter and overrule the Word of God that has been spoken to someone directly.

When the faith-full men came to stone the adulterous woman, they had the Word – the written rules – behind them, but Jesus chose to handle it a different way, as God Himself directed Him.

If God hasn’t spoken directly to you – I mean, His voice to your ear – to tell somebody what you think they’re doing wrong, be careful that you don’t become that wolf in sheep’s clothing that leads someone astray.

Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, John F. Kennedy, Jr. and Jesus all experienced either a desert place or a tragic ending to their purpose-filled life (or both). Does that mean they all got it wrong? Based on being faith-full, would you have told them or their widows that they had sinned, been disobedient, misheard from God, or brought their situations on themselves due to fear?

Really? Perhaps you should think, pray, and seek God, before you speak. Every man is not anointed to be a prophet. But everyone can pray. Your prayers can reveal more truth, and move more mountains, than your misguided faith-full words can.

If you really think someone is doing something wrong based on your interpretation of the Word, just pray. At least start with prayer.

God can take it from there. If there's more for you to do, He'll let you know.