Wash Your Mouth Out with Soap!

Isn’t it amazing the way certain words and phrases affect us?

There were words that weren’t used or even allowed in our house.

Growing up, we weren’t permitted to say the word “holler.” My grandmother thought only uncouth people used that word.

We weren’t permitted to say “Shut up.” Our Mother always told us, “We don’t have room in our hearts for ‘shut up.’”

We were always taught to use “butt,” “bottom,” or “fanny” instead of the more inappropriate and improper word “booty.”

We were only permitted to say “boobs” or “breasts,” never the indecent word “titties.”

Now, when I hear people say booty or titties I mentally (and sometimes physically) shrink back in horror. How rude! How offensive!

Of course the “P” word (for a woman’s private area) and the “D” word (for a man’s privates) wasn’t even an option – that was beyond vulgar, it was downright trashy!

Any use of those words and we certainly would be sucking on a bar of Irish Spring!

Between home training and bad memories, words can have an incredibly positive or incredibly negative effect on us.

As a child, a pedophile chased me around, repeatedly telling me “I just wanna love on you.” Forty years later I still cringe when I hear that phrase, which I do often, unfortunately. It seems to be a favorite in the Black church.

“Hump” was a word that the neighborhood bully/sexual predator said and did to unsuspecting, defenseless young girls. I never, ever use the phrase “Hump Day” to refer to Wednesday.

When words have such a negative connotation in our minds, is it possible to change our perception?

Sometimes it is.

I used to think it was “gross” that my mom and dad called each other “baby.” Over time, however, I’ve learned that I actually enjoy being called “baby” by my man, and I love calling him baby. It’s become one of the sweetest terms of endearment.

If the use of the word or phrase was destructively negative, however, it’s almost like brainwashing. If there are negative actions or images to accompany the word or phrase, it will be nearly impossible, if not completely impossible to transfer the meaning to a positive one.

With that in mind, “love on you” and “hump” will likely forever remain on my taboo list.

But don't worry. There are lots of other phrases that work instead. My husband will figure them out! ;-)

Constantly Thinking…