My Facebook Kingdom

Facebook is like creating your own community (neighborhood, high school, college) of people you like and enjoy – regardless of where they live on the planet.

My FB community is a monarchy, not a democracy. In fact, it’s more than a community – it’s a Kingdom, my own personal Facebook Kingdom! I am the Queen, Her Royal Highness, of my FB Kingdom. I’m the only one who makes the rules on my page and with my friends. I can choose not to allow someone into my FB Kingdom. Complete strangers are almost always declined.

My Facebook friends are family members, friends, co-workers (current and past, and possibly future), church members, and friends of friends (and family members) who I find interesting or enjoyable enough to invite into my personal FB community.

Like other Royal Leaders, I set the tone of my FB Kingdom – positive or negative, light-hearted and humorous or cynical and cutting.  My Kingdom tone tends to lean toward positive, light-hearted, humorous, deep, random and informative.

Here’s the most incredible thing: All of my FB citizens are also Royal Leaders (Kings and Queens) of their own FB Kingdoms! It’s truly amazing!

In all honesty, I rarely visit other FB Kingdoms, but when I do, I can tell how their King or Queen rules by the posts they make or allow. Since it’s not for me to judge someone else’s Kingdom, I usually just stay on my side of the moat, unless their King or Queen and I are kindred spirits or Allies, as it were.

Personal visits are not actually required. My FB Royal Newsfeed allows me to learn what others are doing in their Kingdoms. I will admit I most enjoy the funny postings from the Court Jesters. They bring me personal joy! I frequently share these with my FB Kingdom Citizens.

Many Royal Leaders feel that the more people “friends” they have in their FB Kingdom, the more their value increases. I beg to differ. I have no desire to allow random strangers or barely known associates into my FB Kingdom. I am proud to have a strong Kingdom made up of widely varied members who all have value to me. Conservatives and liberals, military and civilian, young and mature, married and single, male and female, from CEOs to entry level, from highly intelligent to…still seeking knowledge – all make up my very valued Kingdom citizens.

In my Kingdom, it’s not the quantity, it’s the quality.

In my FB Kingdom, if I find I don’t actually like someone, or if they’re suddenly being rude or obnoxious, I can exile them. Unfortunately, I have had to “unfriend” and even “block” citizens who are causing unnecessary disturbance or offense to my FB Kingdom or its citizens.

Sometimes, I put the offensive ones on a temporary timeout “Restricted” status because I don’t want to fully exile them. They still have value to my FB Kingdom, but until they calm down and act like a good citizen, I can’t have them offending me or others in my FB Kingdom. Sometimes, quite unexpectedly, FB randomly restricts someone for me. (My sister and I have found this to be the case, at which time a Royal re-boot is necessary.)

Like an actual Kingdom, very few of my FB members actually have the opportunity to interact with Her Royal Highness personally. Less than a third of my community members have my phone number or even my email address.

For security reasons (and to avoid offense), I have even changed my FB Kingdom settings to allow my Royal online visits to be private. Only my small inner circle (Roundtable) can see when I’m online.

Here’s where my Kingdom, and Royal Leadership Style, differs from many others: I don’t require nor expect my FB Kingdom citizens to “Like” all of my posts or decrees. I don’t take it personally when they don’t. I don’t require nor expect my FB Kingdom citizens to comment or post on my page for holidays, my birthday or even when I decree great news in my Kingdom. It’s appreciated, of course, but it doesn’t determine whether or not they’re loyal, friendly, loving citizens. Their “likes” don’t determine the quality of my Royal Decrees (posts). My Royal worth is also not determined by how many FB Kingdom citizens (friends) I have.

Yes, I enjoy Facebook and all its many Kingdoms, but it’s virtual. It’s not real life. It’s not real relationship. It’s just a tool to connect from afar. It’s an opportunity to frame or create a personal community of people we love, like, and admire. It’s a way to touch large groups of people at once, a way to play games with people living thousands of miles away.

It’s not designed and shouldn’t be used to determine our worth, replace real connections (face-to-face or voice-to-voice time), or confirm that we’re loved.

My Fellow FB Citizens, Kings and Queens – don’t lose your perspective. Enjoy your virtual FB Kingdoms and make the most of them. Don’t let them rule you.

Constantly Thinking….

POST BLOG NOTE:

In my real-world Kingdom, the rules are mostly the same. I am the ruler of my heart and mind, guided by my Holy King. I am both Queen and citizen. I determine who I will let into my inner circle (my close friends). It’s the quality, not the quantity that matters – although I do tend to make friends quite easily. I interact with many other kingdoms, kings and queens – great and small, good and bad. However, I set the tone of my house. My perspective is determined by me, not by circumstances or other people’s kingdoms.