Marital Mess Landmines

Stay out of people’s marital mess.

You don’t know what issues a couple is truly facing. It may not be a communication issue or a “putting the toilet seat down” situation. It may be that one or both of them are living double lives. It may be that one of them is engaging in serious criminal activity that has just been discovered by their spouse.

It may be that one of the spouses is being physically abused by the other. It may be that the husband or wife has molested one of the children. It may even be a breach so horrific that you can’t even wrap your natural mind around it. Think of spouses who learn they’ve been married to a serial killer who’s buried the bodies in their own backyard. Or they just discovered there’s someone chained up in the secret room in the basement that has been “off limits.”

Is it possible for even a marriage like that to be saved? Um… Well... Knowing the God I serve, I’d have to say “it’s possible.” However, sometimes a person may find they married the devil incarnate, or a secret devil worshiper unwilling to give up their beliefs. God can only work with willing hearts. If we harden our hearts to him (and each other), He will not violate our free will.

So to my fellow Christians, especially, I say this…

Just because you know the Word doesn’t mean you know enough about everyone’s personal situation – and God’s will for them – to insert yourself by telling them God doesn’t desire that they get divorced. Many times, rather than encouragement, all you’re adding is confusion and judgment.

Yes, the Bible says God hates divorce. But it also says, “What GOD has put together let no man put asunder.” Some of these unions, God has not put together. Some of these unions need to be torn apart before someone dies – if not physically, then emotionally or spiritually.

Believers, the best thing you can say to a couple having marital issues is that you’ll pray for them, and pray that God’s will be done.

Unless you’ve been professionally or spiritually asked and anointed to intervene (not interfere) in someone’s marital issues, stay out of them.