Pretty for a Chocolate Girl: The Qualified Compliment

“I usually don’t like brown girls, but you’re really pretty for a chocolate girl.”

How do you respond to that statement? Is it a compliment or an insult?

Years ago, when that statement was made to me, my light-skinned best friend (also beautiful) and I debated it.

I didn’t appreciate the qualification, “pretty for a chocolate girl.” That’s like telling a bug, “You’re pretty for a house fly, a cockroach, or a spider.”

It was my BFF’s opinion, however, that it was an even greater compliment. “Normally, I don’t even notice girls who look like you, but you’re so pretty, you even got my attention.”

I decided to go with her take on the situation, because…why not? He obviously meant it as a compliment, silly as it was.

I was baking Tollhouse cookies at the time. I pulled a batch out of the oven and said they were "a pretty batch of chocolate" chocolate chip cookies. We both started laughing at the silliness of it all.

One thing my qualified complimenter did was made me much more conscious of my words. No qualified compliments here.

When I find a man attractive who is not typically “my type” (which, admittedly, is fairly broad), I just describe him as attractive. Not “attractive for a short man, a tall man, a thin man, a big man, a light man, a dark man, a bald man, a curly-haired man, a man with glasses, or a man with freckles. Just attractive!”

What my men have in common has very little to do with their physicality anyway. It’s about their strength of character and masculinity, which comes in all shapes and sizes. If those things are missing, I don’t care how pretty their face is or how ripped their physique is, they’re still not attractive to me.

So, what about you? Do you qualify your compliments? 

And...How do you feel about pretty chocolate girls? ;-)

Constantly Thinking...