Facebook Withdrawal - A Social Experiment Part II

I had mixed feelings being off Facebook. I mostly experienced positive feelings, including being free from the constant draw of the notifications, free from the negative, political, grammar-destroying posts (although that latter category does provide hours of laughter and enjoyment), and free from being inundated by incorrect information that somehow spreads so rapidly.

I missed some things, though.

Interestingly enough, the thing I missed the absolute most was the "bulletin board" aspect of Facebook. At one point, I needed to find a specific type of vendor. I would have "posted" that on my FB wall and found one immediately. I had to do a lot more work and research without Facebook.

I missed a few specific people's posts. I realized that what I read and value most are the informative posts where I highly respect the writer's opinion about current events.

Those two things, almost exclusively, brought me back to Facebook, on a personal level.

The other, primary, reason I came back was due to a professional obligation (but a nice one). I'm currently the administrator on my work account and I needed to monitor and post on my company page.

When I first came back, I stayed quiet - not posting, not liking, just reading posts from my favorite person(s).

Don't get me wrong. I do read some of the posts from close family and close friends where they're sharing their news and social activities... but those didn't bring me back. I have a relationship with them so I hear about those things from them directly. (That's a wonderful thing.)

I also read and love the random trivia and hilariousness that people share... but that didn't bring me back. I already happily live in a world of random trivia and hilariousness.

One thing was fascinating... I was surprised to find that some of my friends and family were not happy, to the point of being angry and argumentative, that I was no longer on Facebook.

Some people even took it personally, assuming I'd unfriended or blocked them. Facebook has absolutely too much power!

Others, of course, completely understood. They'd been considering a hiatus or deactivation themselves.

Overall, I've learned that Facebook can be comforting, like a good friend. There's always someone up and commenting, even in the wee hours. Plus, right or wrong, through Facebook, I do hear about important things happening in my family and friends' lives.

One of the most important reasons I came back was hearing from my friends that they missed my posts. They said I frequently inspired them with what I write. That alone makes coming back worth it.

I was missed as much as I missed others. That is definitely heart-warming.

Constantly Thinking...but not constantly thinking about posting...

Facebook Withdrawal - A Social Experiment - Part 1

This year, on my birthday eve, I deactivated my Facebook account.

I'd been thinking about it for months. I'd been concerned and disillusioned by what I'd been seeing and feeling from the recent posts on Facebook.

It's disheartening to find out that family members have gotten married or given birth - through Facebook. Family deserves more than a PSA.

It's soul-grieving to read posts attacking other people's political or spiritual beliefs. Cruelty is so easy when you have the cover of the internet vs face-to-face or voice-to-voice interaction.

It's misleading to read the wonderful and wild life adventures of singles and married couples, whose Facebook highlights are not always indicative of their actual life. Studies have shown that people are actually dealing with depression based on other people's exciting Facebook posts, as compared to their own humdrum life.

Facebook has become like "The Truman Show." We announce every activity. We follow and stalk people like voyeurs. Validation is gained by how many FB friends you have or how many likes or shares your posts receive.

I'm apparently in a rare category of people who have no idea how many FB friends I have, and rarely notice who is liking my posts.

This year, I've chosen to live life rather than posting about it. I enjoyed an intimate pre-birthday celebration with close friends. Not one of us pulled out a camera or a phone to snap and post pictures on Facebook. We were just enjoying the evening. Later I thought, who would we have been posting for? All the people who weren't invited? That's just cruel.

So, on my birthday eve, before the birthday posts started pouring in from people I only know through Facebook, I decided to deactivate my account and start the year fresh.

Many family members and close friends missed my birthday, because Facebook didn't notify them.

The ones who remembered and reached out, however, made my day. We have a relationship outside of Facebook...and that's refreshing.

In my next blog I'll share the surprising emotional reaction I had from disconnecting from my FB lifeline. Even bad drugs and bad relationships can cause a painful reaction when you finally give them up.

Constantly Thinking...