The Craziness of Chemistry

Not all chemistry needs to be acted upon.

Just because you have chemistry with someone doesn't mean you're romantically attracted to them. Sometimes you are.

Just because you're attracted to someone, doesn't mean you need to get romantically involved with them. Sometimes you do.

Chemistry is powerful, but chemistry can also be misleading.

Chemistry is an incredible force. You can have chemistry with someone that you're not romantically attracted to, but the chemistry can make you think you are.

Chemistry can be present with people of the same sex.

You can meet someone and the chemistry can be so strong and so immediate that you'll swear it's love at first sight! (And it may be...but it doesn't have to be.)

My theory about chemistry is that it's a force, like electricity. We experience chemistry when our paths are either destined to cross or when the intersection of our paths will lead to something powerful or life-changing.

For instance, let's say you meet someone you're supposed to professionally partner with five years down the road. Together, you will change the world (or at least your local community). When you meet, you automatically experience chemistry, although the time of your purpose is not yet upon you.

You feel the chemistry. Strongly. But you operate with restraint and discipline.

Years ago, I was introduced to someone's best friend. I was looking down at the floor when we we shook hands, because I'd stepped in something sticky. The touch of our hands, however, was like an electric jolt. My head snapped up. The chemistry was unexpected and mutual. We never acted on it because he had a girlfriend, and his best friend had an unrequited crush on me. Out of respect for both (and each other), we remained friends.

I've met many men and women since with whom I've experienced crazy chemistry. Most of the time the feeling was mutual, although there have been a few times when I've felt it before they have (or vice versa). Most of the time we've acted upon it almost immediately.

There have also been times when the chemistry, and subsequent attraction, has remained unspoken. Everything about the person (and our interactions) is electrifying. Our chemistry is almost tangible. It's like a bull fighting to get out of its pen. And yet, we wisely keep it subdued, at bay, unreleased, unspoken.

I have learned that not all chemistry needs to be acted upon. Chemistry that destroys existing relationships (like marriages or other committed relationships) is definitely not worth acting upon. Chemistry that ruins working relationships or friendships is rarely worth acting upon. Chemistry that defies logic or personal taste is questionable, as well. For instance, you might find yourself being attracted to a "bad boy" or a "promiscuous girl." It's probably best not to act on that.

It doesn't mean you don't feel it, though.

Constantly Thinking...about crazy chemistry